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Ways to Get Over a Breakup Like a Grown Woman
1. Either block or unfriend him on Facebook, because that shit will be the death of you. Maybe you assume you are a reasonable and mature lady-human who can handle seeing the occasional reminder of him on your Facebook timeline. You're both grown-ups, right! What's a little "David's Birthday Bar Crawl!" action popping up on your feed? Noooo. There will be a really pretty redhead in his arms in every picture, and you will feel like you want to jump into Buffalo Bill's abandoned well girl-trap in Silence of The Lambs.
2. Don't immediately suggest to "stay friends" — and if he does, tell him you need to think about it.
3. If you feel an impulse to get drunk alone, call some friends instead.
4. If you want to drunk-text, get your friend to take your phone away or throw it in a volcano.
5. Begin some kind of intense, rage-based workout routine
6. Spend a lot of time outside
7. Rebound with one incredibly hot guy, if that's what you want, and then give yourself some time to decompress and remember who you are
8. If you start dating someone else, take it really slow.
9. Allow yourself to cry when you need to.
10. If you get a Facebook invite to his best friend's party ... stay home, put a face mask on, eat Chinese, and watch House of Cards.
11. Don't scheme to get him back — scheme to get yourself back
12. Write him heartbroken letters and never send them
13. Avoid posting the details on Facebook
14. Take baths.
15. Stop blaming yourself and thinking things like, "If only I'd watched more Bournemovies/dyed my hair blonde/given more rim jobs/was cooler