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Warning Signs That You May Be In An Abusive Relationship
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is always calling you names and putting you down, even if it seems like they are messing, you are in the wrong relationship. Your partner is meant to give you confidence, not destroy it. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend who is constantly putting you down, beware.
If your partner intentionally tries to isolate you, this is another warning sign that you are in an abusive relationship. Likewise, if you can't go out with your friends or family without receiving constant phone calls or messages from your paranoid boyfriend or girlfriend, this is wrong too!
If your boyfriend/ girlfriend gets so aggressive that they use physical force on you, this means that your are being abused. It may seem obvious, but some people, including myself, don't or didn't recognise spitting, hitting,hair grabbing, pinching etc as abuse. Even if it seems like they are messing around, it is still abuse. What abusers sometimes do is they may physically hurt you but subtle enough so that you feel like it'd be petty to tell someone. For example, they may push you, but when confronted about it, they may say it was a joke. Don't stand for this, tell someone immediately.
How awful is it when you are embarrassed in front of everyone? Usually, it's by people who don't like you. However, if you find your boyfriend or girlfriend constantly trying to embarrass you in front of friends, family or in public, this is a warning sign of abuse. You're meant to feel confident!
Forcing someone to engage in any sexual activity without consent is rape. Rape can go from being pressured into doing something sexual you don't want to do to being physically forced to. Any kind of rape is wrong, and if have been raped or you think your partner is capable of it- tell someone immediately. You may not believe that it's serious and pass it off as miscommunication (which is a common thought). You should never let someone pressure you into something you don't want to do- no matter what it is. If you need help now, call the police or your nearest hotline.
0808 2000 247 (UK help)
Has your partner ever damaged your property? This is yet another sign of abuse. Damaging or breaking a person's belongings on purpose isn't very kind- you deserve better than that. How would they like it if you went and broke their stuff? Exactly, they wouldn't.
Another thing that I never noticed at that the time is that jealousy is a sign of an abusive partner. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is always jealous of you spending time with your friends or family, or if they are jealous of your accomplishments, they aren't the right person for you and they are abusive. There is a difference between innocent jealousy and pure envy: it's understandable that from time to time they may get a little jealous- everyone does! Sometimes it just shows they care. However, if their jealously prevents you from continuing your life as normal, then they aren't the one.
It's upsetting how emotional and psychological abuse doesn't seem to get the same attention as physical and sexual. I just want you all to know that they are ALL as bad as each other. I mean, after all, bruises fade but words last forever.
Name-calling, rape, hitting, excessive jealousy, control, spitting... they're all part of abuse.
If you are reading this and think you are in an unhealthy relationship, tell a friend you can trust or a family member. In fact, you can even tell a teacher- that's what I was comfortable with as I had no friends to turn to.
Good luck, have a nice day:)
I'll put my email somewhere so anyone who needs can contact me to talk. Yeah, I'm only young, but I do understand as I've been through it all before! Thank you for reading!