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How to Attract the Right Guy
Being happy makes you a love magnet
Firstly, who is the right man for you? We all have well-wishers and friends who would comment, “You can do better!”, “Why don’t you meet this guy or that?”, “He’s not right for you”, “I know someone that is just right for you”. So, what determines this “right” for you? To me, a man who accepts you for what you are, as you are and loves you unconditionally is the right man. One who makes you laugh and whose company you really enjoy is right. One who enhances your self-esteem instead of pushing you down is right for you.
Have you considered how you want to feel in the "right relationship'? I suggest you take a few minutes and jot it down now. The most important thing a woman can do, is to work on herself and get her physical, emotional and financial life into great shape. In other words, become the quality woman who is sought out by the kind of man we wish to be with in the first place. Replace your self-deprecating thoughts with the belief that “I am good enough” and align your actions so that you feel authentic when you say that to yourself.
When our inner world is full of happiness and joy and we are independent, secure and stable it shines through and creates magnetism around us that everyone (not just men we may be interested in) can feel. When we lose the need (and nothing kills attraction faster than neediness) to be with someone we are more likely to find someone who wants to be with us. Basically, we become the kind of woman with high self-esteem and high character who DOES NOT need a man to fill any hole inside us.
Quality men look for quality women and the best way to attract the kind of man you want is to become the kind of woman he’d like to be with. A popular misconception about men is that they are only concerned about a woman’s appearance and are only interested in sex. While this may hold true for the general populace, the ones we regard as “quality” men would much rather spend time with, be with and date an average-looking woman with a great character and a more fulfilling personality than a hot, dysfunctional drama queen!
I truly finally fell in love madly with myself. I discovered my true calling, gems and purpose and pursued them with blinkers on. I stopped making decisions around the possibilities of meeting a nice guy. I put my career and purpose above all that. I know you have heard this before and that you are wishing I have some fresh news for you, I really get it. I have been there, the incessant checking of my phone to see if a guy I had hopes of would text me or want to see me again.
I’d chase them covertly, looking for excuses to contact them and trying to act all nonchalant about it; I’d change my profile pictures or go to events just to attract attention. And I did this nonsense with guys that I wasn’t even sure I really liked, just to get their attention and see that they liked me. It saddens me the number of women out there who spend their life just looking for a man, waiting to be loved, waiting for somebody to come into their lives and sweep them off their feet. And then they do everything in their power to make it happen.
It saddens me the number of women out there who spend their life just looking for a man, waiting to be loved, waiting for somebody to come into their lives and sweep them off their feet. And then they do everything in their power to make it happen. They put a lot of effort into everything to attract that man to take away the loneliness. And when they meet some nice men, because they are so desperate for this one to be the one, they put all the previous drama into this one guy, this one sweet person who they just met just to get him to do what they want him to do. They become so transparently
Needy, and yet when friends point it out, they deny it because they think they have covered it up well under the layers of make up. Have you been there? You want him to call you, you want him to act in such a way, you want to know that he cares, you want to know that he is as attracted to you as you are as you are to him. But you know in most cases you are not even sure if you like him, you just wanted him to like you. I found the LOVE OF MY LIFE at almost 34, after years of pain, abuse, betrayal and horrible encounters and dysfunctional relationships.
This time though, it is not some “compromise” relationship, but rather is the first time I have felt so loved, desired, wanted, cared for, protected and accepted for all I am. I can be myself and the passion is beyond imagination. I didn’t go looking for him, I was at a book store doing an event for my previous book, Don’t Think of a Blue Ball, when he swaggered in and asked me a question that showed me the synchronicity that only being plugged in can bring into your experience. He was attracted to the topic because he too is so into personal development.
Where I am getting at is that you cannot build your life around looking for a man or around being attractive or finding that man. The only way to attract a good solid relationship that is not co-dependent and not needy, is when you are actually falling in love with yourself again, and you are actually living a life that is committed to your own goals, dreams and desires. I implore you to live a life that is about you and not about a man. Even when you find a man you love, yes love him, love him with all your heart but don’t stop living your life.
Don’t let your life revolve around whether he called or he did not. Whether he cares about you, whether he is attracted to you or not. Think of yourself as the earth rotating around her own axis. Give him what you want to give him but simultaneously you pursue your life 'coz your life is more than just about a man. Your life is about you, your likes and dislikes, the things that you enjoy, people who are dependent on you being you, who love you, who need your time. Your work, your colleagues, your taste, what you enjoy. Live for yourself, there will be no room for loneliness. Focus on you.
Be an empowered woman and then watch how men will then fall at your feet. Being happy makes you a love magnet - you will attract LOVE into your life!