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Some babies were dropped on their heads, you were clearly thrown at a wall
I pretend I don't care, but really deep down I still don't care
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a plant, there for chocolate counts as a salad YOUR WELCOME
Hey I just met you, & this is crazy My Name Is Dory...
Hey I just met you...
I don't trust anyone who smiles before 9 am
If the bell doesn't dismiss me then it doesn't decide when I get to class.
I'm poor I can't afford to pay attention
Row Row your boat gently off a cliff
The letter before J?
The letter that comes after L?
Did you know that in JK the K stands for kidding?
So your response was kidding?
Or K as in potassium?
Do you need some Special K for breakfast?
K as in I can K/O you?
Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks?
Sharks has K in it.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Faces like yours belong to the zoo
Don't be mad
I'll be there too
Not in a cage
But laughing at you
I'm sarcastic because punching people is frowned upon
"Did you just fall?"
"No i attacked the floor."
"I'm freaking talented!"
You're wrong. So just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.
I don't trip, I do random gravity checks
I hate that part of the morning when you have to get out of bed and participate in real life
Too bad I can only delete you on Facebook and not in real life, apparently that's illegal
Telling a woman to calm down works as well as baptizing cats
Science is golden
But duct tape is silver
Who ever decided to put the alphabet in math, I hate you
Good morning, I see the assassins have failed
I would like to think I will die an heroic death, but then again I will most likely trip over my dog, and choke on a spoonful of frosting
I bet when cheetahs race and one of them cheats the other one goes "Man you a Cheetah!" And then they laugh and go eat a zebra or whatever
Some people just need a high five in the face with a chair
I'm actually not funny I'm just really mean and everyone thinks I'm joking
School for 12 years.
College for 4 years.
Then we work until we die.
People are like slinkys not really good for anything, but you can't help but smiling when they are tumbling down the stairs
Sometimes when people are talking to me, I wonder what they would do if I suddenly punched them in the face
Guy: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Girl: "No, but I did scrape my knees when I crawled up from hell."
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic
I already know I'm going to hell. At this point really it's just a matter of go big or go home